The Parent Rap
“I’m gonna lock you up till frogs do fractions!”―Judge Constance Harm
After he has crashed Chief Wiggum’s car Bart is sentenced by severe female Judge Harm and ordered to be tethered to Homer – who has proved himself to be a bad parent – until further notice….
After missing the school bus, Homer takes Milhouse and Bart to school. Homer hears on the radio an announcement for a KBBL‘s “Prize Possie” radio contest, and whoever gets spotted with the radio station’s van and has a “KBBL Party Penguin” hanging from the car antenna wins a prize of $40. Immediately after the announcement, Milhouse spots the van crossing traffic. Homer then abandons Bart and Milhouse on the side of the road and sets out to chase the prize van. The boys start to walk to school by themselves, until they notice Chief Wiggum’s squad car. They get inside and play around in the front seat, but accidentally put the car in neutral after being threatened by the squad’s canine in the back seat. After crashing the police car into a tree, Wiggum puts Bart and Milhouse in custody for assuming they used the car for a joyride.
In juvenile court, Milhouse gets his case quickly dismissed for Judge Snyder believes that “boys will be boys”. Bart, not worried about any punishment as he believes that Snyder is “the good judge”, comes up to face his trial. Snyder is just about to let Bart free until the judge’s vacation has started. The replacement judge, Constance Harm, isn’t a pushover, and is just about to sentence him to juvenile detention, but after realizing that Homer was the one who abandoned Bart in the first place, she orders that Bart and Homer be tethered together for the time being.
The Parent Rap/Quotes
Judge Harm: You have got a boy here who is crying out for adult supervision!
Homer: I couldn’t agree more. Perhaps some sort of court-appointed babysitter or au pair?Judge Harm: Sorry, bub, that crow won’t caw.Homer: It won’t?